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Education Games For High School Students

Brenda Said:

Can anybody please help me with my essay to get accepted into a high school?

We Answered:

You need to work on when you put "I" and "I've."
That's the biggest thing I noticed.
Also, in the first paragraph, I would stay away from mentioning the school (at least by name) as many times as you do.
It gets repetitive.
I would also stay away from saying "The one thing I absolutely love doing..."
It makes it seem like that is your only interest.

Good luck on getting in! :)

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