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Katrina Said:Abusive parent. What should I do?
We Answered:Wow, that's really rough. I really feel for you. But ultimately, I think you are better off with your dad in England. The psychic scars done to you by your mother will start to really get you down, in ways you don't really realize right now, I think. People call the environment you're in "toxic", and they do it for a reason. It's poisonous to live in that kind of situation. You deserve better. Leaving your friends and everything you know is really tough, and your scholarship issue is a serious one. But all things considered, England is still the better option. You'll be behind in course work, but you're a smart girl and can catch up. College is free in England, anyway, and they have some excellent universities there. If worse comes to worst, you might end up having to pay for college. But whatever price that is, it's CHEAP considering the harm you could be doing to yourself by staying with an abusive parent. These are some of the most formative years of your life, and you should make them as happy as you can. I'm 43. I grew up living with an abusive parent and deciding to stay with my friends and my (excellent) school in order to be in a better position to get free when I graduated. But I believe now that that was a mistake. In hindsight, I was badly hurt by living in that situation, emotionally. The negatives of moving were the kinds of thing that were ultimately short-term. Yeah, I wouldn't be with my friends. But few people are friends with their high school friends in a few years. Yeah, the school wouldn't have been as good--but the other school wasn't bad. Yeah, I ended up going to a great college after graduation. But it didn't make that much difference in the end that I went to one well respected school rather than another slightly lower school. When I went to graduate school, I saw that people came there from all kinds of different schools, and the name of the school mattered much less than the individual person's character and emotional maturity. Your emotional maturity and character can only be hurt by staying where you are. And keep in mind that these people have only just gotten started with their abuse. PLEASE get yourself free of them. I also think you may not fully appreciate quite how badly those people are behaving. You probably think that at age 14, you are very mature. And you ARE very mature, I can see it in your letter. But you're still a child, and in a few years you will be shocked by how much more wise and mature you will be, and how young and naive you are at 14. These people are really bad news. Not only are you coming home stressed and anxious at what they are doing today to you, not only are you spending your time at school being a less-happy kid than you could be, but being in their proximity is exposing you to dysfunctional behavior while keeping you from being around positive role models. I have to believe your dad has better friends than these guys, and being with them will be a good thing for you.
Studies have shown that in the short term, people's regrets tend to focus on things they have done, but in the long term, they focus on things they DIDN'T do. This is because in the short term, inconveniences are more apparent. But in the long term, you can see the effects that REALLY matter concerning your decision. Moving to England and leaving what you know seems in the short term a great inconvenience and change, with tons of unknowns. So that is kind of paramount in your mind. But in the long term, what is bad, what you will remember, is all of the negative experiences you have had, and will have, if you stay. And it's taking a toll on your father, too. He's actually begging you to come live with him. He's not saying it in words, but he's saying it nonetheless.
Good luck! I hope you leave at Christmas and don't come back! I promise you that you will be glad a thousand times over that you went to England.
Leah Said:What do you think of the following Universities for Masters study in Forensic Psychology?
We Answered:[hey i am responding to the question you asked as an answer when i asked about studying abroad... the program that i'm looking at is called ISEP - International Student Exchange Program]
Frank Said:Bath, what is it like in terms of culture, countryside, clubs, housing, class divide, student life?
We Answered:I was there many years ago and it was a great place to be a student. It is a great place to live after graduating - I'd go back there to live if the houses weren't so expensive!
There have been lots of development on the campus in recent years - more housing for students and the city is in the middle of a £360 million shopping mall construction - SouthGate shopping centre, Phase 1 of SouthGate will open in Autumn 2009. Phase 3, the final phase should complete in 2010.
"The University of Bath has an outstanding reputation for the quality of its research and its teaching. Its graduates are routinely in high demand from employers.
This demand is partly due to the applied nature of Bath's taught courses, which place cutting edge research in a social or business context. It is partly connected with the high proportion of placements - around two thirds of Bath graduates will have spent some time in business or a work environment as part of their course. And it may also be connected with the strong links that Bath enjoys with business, industry and government bodies both in the UK and worldwide, accounting for many thousands of organisations.
Bath is popular with students. The city is one of the most beautiful in the UK and enjoys World Heritage status. It is a small, friendly city, but it has a tremendous range of cultural and leisure facilities, which helps explain why Bath consistently features in surveys of the most popular place to live in the UK. Student accommodation is split between campus, the city centre and a popular residential area, but is all to a high standard. Much of it is newly-built, and there are plans for around 1100 further bedrooms on campus. Direct buses to the campus, about a mile and a half from the city centre, are regular and cheap.
The University of Bath is successful and expanding, with ?70M improvements on campus scheduled for the next three or four years, including the new English Institute of Sport, better teaching space and new laboratories.
Departments are arranged in four faculties: Science, Engineering, Humanities and Social Science, and the School of Management. All enjoy an excellent academic reputation. There is an extremely active and well-supported creative arts programme, including music, drama and visual arts, all supported by specialist staff. Bath also has a writer in residence working with students.
The University has recently opened a second campus in the Wiltshire town of Swindon, giving extra space to develop new research and encourage innovation. The Swindon campus is also an extremely popular venue for specialist conferences and exhibitions, many of which are of national importance.
a leading UK University with an international reputation for quality teaching and research
a professional University with close links with industry and commerce
an international University with study abroad opportunities in Europe and North America
an attractive University; the main campus is one mile from the centre of the World Heritage Site of Bath
a safe and supportive University with strong student services and attention to special needs
a fun University with outstanding social and sports facilities"
Edwin Said:House bills....confused!! ANY help appreciated!?
We Answered:We cannot give anything like an accurate estimate - believe me, it is impossible. There are too many variables, the first being the level of insulation in the house and whether it is double glazed. Then you come to individual lifestyles - laptops and printers do not use much electricity, electric kettles do, electric heaters do, electric cookers do, washing machines and tumble driers do. We all have different usage patterns.
It is also so easy to waste electricy through your habits. Now if i want a cup of coffee on my own, i will either put 1/2 litre of water in the kettle or heat it in the microwave. If my wife - bless her - (got to put that she is looking over my shoulder) wants a cup of coffee she fills the kettle [3 pints] despite only using maybe 1/2 pint of it. She will put a couple of pairs of jeans in the tumble drier, i will wait for a fuller load.
I would say up your kitty to 80 pounds a month, if that is more than you need you get a refund, or roll the difference over towards the next months 80 quid kitty.
Jamie Said:Living in London - costs etc.?
It really depends on what you're considering 'London'. Living is the centre of London is expensive and I really doubt you'll find something suitable there if you aren't working. However the further out you get the more reasonable prices become.
I recently moved to Hammersmith in West London and the rent is not that high. The transport links are great and mean I can get into and out from the city pretty much any time of the day or night without much hassle. Others might disagree but I don't think travel is actually that expensive in London either.
To deal with the not earning issue, why don't you apply for jobs when you're in your final year and move to London only when you have one? Or move down and just take a job, pretty much any job so you can afford to live then start looking for something you'd prefer.
Hope it all works out, London is a great place to live - you'll love it.
Hugh Said:Edinburgh, what is it like in terms of culture, countryside, clubs, housing, class divide, student life?
We Answered:I agree with you on the taking the piss comment, I wouldn't utterly love Muse and fancy Matt B if us Scots hated the english!
Anyway: Culture - a wide mix of different cultures because there are loads of foreign people who live there (a lot of them students).
countryside - the countryside is a 5/10 min drive outside Edinburgh, which includes lovely beaches, country parks and the like.
I live in west lothian which is in the middle between Edinburgh & Glasgow, but it feels rural.
Clubs - there are too many to mention here!
housing - Edinburgh can be quite pricey, but if you can commute to uni live in west lothian. We have very good bus and train links to Edinburgh, but cheaper house/rent prices.
class divide - about the same as any city: rich folks, poor folks and everyone in between!
Student life - Edinburgh has many Unis and colleges so it has loads for students to do.
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There are many parents like described above who really make their kids to control all the time in all the matters , without letting them live their life freely according to their wish. THis is truly sad.
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