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Vernon Said:

OBSESSIVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE STALKER?

We Answered:

If you are wondering why you aren't getting a lot of answers from the other sections, it is because of two things.

One, most people are not aware of how to deal with anti-social problems. As in anti-social people.

Secondly, all those involved in the law can help you on is to clarify a point of interest on your state's laws concerning restraint orders, assault, evidentiary rules, and so forth.

A lawyer that practices law in your state, and deals with domestic violence and restraint orders, can very well know all the "tricks" to figuring out how to get one applied and make it stick to your benefit.

If he is 36, he shouldn't be old enough to collect SS. Welfare benefits, yeah. Might also want to look into that if he is committing fraud.

Greg Said:

INSTRUCTORS - MARTIAL ARTS AND BULLIES?

We Answered:

"So what is the best way to deal with this?"

Look around for the term "malignant narcissist" and people's experiences with them. It's basically the same.

As for how to deal with narcissists, what you get is evidence of their lies. Their entire existence is sustained by living the lie and by deceiving others. You don't have worth as humans beings to them, just tools for their enjoyment. Thus once you expose their lies, you stop being useful to them. And either they'll leave you alone or they'll go so crazy everybody will notice just what he is.

"He peeps in his neighbors windows and masturbates looking out his window while his neighbors are outside. The police can only arrest with evidence, since they havent caught him in the act no arrest has been made."

So get the evidence yourself. It may not be admissible in court, but it'll start the wheels going. And if he backs off from just a warning, he'll pay attention to jail time. And there's plenty of other ways you can attack him after that as well.

"The DA refuses to issue a no contact order and the police refuse an arrest."

As you said, they have no solid evidence. Not worth their time. If you want them to do something, again document his behavior with actual time date, evidence, video and sound recordings and so forth.

"I myself can attest from personal expierance a violent bully is my far easier to deal with than a non-violent one."

It just depends on what tools you have available. If you only have a hammer, unscrewing a bunch of screws could be difficult. If you only have a screw driver, hammering in some nails could be troublesome.

Personally, I'd be setting traps for this kind of guy. It'd take awhile, but then again, it's not like he's going to leave things alone by himself. Lion listed the obvious methods.

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/sta…

Number 4 specifically pertains to your situation. Right now, the cops don't actually believe what your documents say. They think you or he is calling them in on a sort of feud. They don't have any evidence one way or another. So the DA is hanging.

And by trying to handle it physically yourself, you've basically given them evidence not to believe your side of things. If you had known in advance the correct method to use, that wouldn't have happened.

"because the state of Iowa considers this "Non Domestic""

Get your girlfriend involved. Isn't he domestically related to her? If the laws don't apply to you and him on restraint orders, change the nature of the game here.

To counter indirect attacks, you attack indirectly.

Number 5 in my link gives you the goods. If you want him to leave you alone, you'll have to bring down a whole house load of stress ontop of him to give him a good reason to. He's not gong to leave you alone, when he thinks he has you cornered and thinking like a victim. Read the link. There are many methods to use to attack back and not be the victim here. And many of them will actually solve your problem in the long term, rather than making it worse by getting you in legal trouble. Get out of the mentality of "waiting" for him to do something physical. Make him act badly and get it on tape. Give him opportunities to harass you and then get the goods on him and use it as evidence for the police. If he's really set out to harass you and lie about it, he'll give you plenty of opportunities to "trap" him. Police do "entrapment" all the time, after all. Look at the Seattle wannabe bomber as one example.

Marilyn Said:

OBSESSIVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BULLY?

We Answered:

If you are wondering why you aren't getting a lot of answers from the other sections, it is because of two things.

One, most people are not aware of how to deal with anti-social problems. As in anti-social people.

Secondly, all those involved in the law can help you on is to clarify a point of interest on your state's laws concerning restraint orders, assault, evidentiary rules, and so forth.

A lawyer that practices law in your state, and deals with domestic violence and restraint orders, can very well know all the "tricks" to figuring out how to get one applied and make it stick to your benefit.

If he is 36, he shouldn't be old enough to collect SS. Welfare benefits, yeah. Might also want to look into that if he is committing fraud.

For psychology, it would be best to ask anyone here how they can deal with narcissistic personality disorder or malignant narcissism in the work place and home life.

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