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Student Houses In Birmingham

Charlene Said:

Housing in Birmingham?

We Answered:

and you think you will cope in your own place? I dont think so.. you need a reality check.. your studies will suffer more in your own place because you will have added stress with bills, cooking, cleaning, shopping, heating, money ect ect ect..........

Big mistake!!

You just proved you need to grow up by your response to my answer!

Alex Said:

What can I do to make this paragraph better and/or smaller?

We Answered:

I will not re-write your essay for you, but I will try and guide you.
Try to replace long word strings with shorter vocab. For example:

"On this history trip, you will see many important sights that were in the history of the Civil Rights Movement."
Could be simply stated as
"On this trip were many exhibits from the Civil Rights Movement."

You make a very extensive listing of various sights, which can be shortened- cut out a few, and combined a few into a single sentence. And more importantly, rather than a long list, teachers prefer when you provide personal insight. Good Luck!

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