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Bernard Said:Should I feel guilty or feel ashamed for not attending my brother's wedding?
We Answered:You can't make someone love you or respect you. As hard as it might be you have to let this relationship die. They know how to reach you if they need to.
I'd write an email or letter saying how it's impossible for you to take the time from work and explain that you really can't afford the cost. Wish your brother well, say how sorry you are that you can't be there etc.... and poof! you're done with them. You don't contact them anymore and let them contact you. If/when they do you are polite and answer their questions but ask very little in return. You can ask how a relative is, comment on the weather, discuss ACC basketball if it's the right season etc....
They only have the power to hurt you if YOU open the door to them and invite them in.
Douglas Said:Should I feel guilty or feel ashamed for not attending my brother's wedding?
We Answered:I'm surprised that YOU still have contact with them.
If I was you, I would have told them to run and jump years ago. Who needs to be in touch with people who make it clear that they don't love you, who only contacts you when they need something and who bully you verbally.
Tell them to get lost, remove their details from your address book and get on with your life where you will learn that there are nicer families out there who will welcome you into their lives, regardless whether you are blood related or not.
Susan Said:Should I feel guilty or feel ashamed for not attending my brother's wedding?
We Answered:You need to let go.
Write to your dad listing this stuff calmly ( like you were doing a critical essay on a play) and conclude with all the reasons you feel that you need to let go as you cant carry around the hurt any longer, but your door is always open to them if ever they want you as a son or a friend. You are thousands of miles away, concentrate on your life now and in the future.
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